THE SOUNDTRACK OF THE GOOD TIMES

(…AND WHY YOU SHOULD BE IN THE BAND)

Alright, so picture this: it’s sometime after midnight in the early ’90s, Upstate New York. The sun is long gone, the game is over, and you’ve just spent four hours playing Cardinal Ball. You’re victorious (probably). The post-game analysis of which Kevin Smith movie is *truly* the best is in full swing.

This whole vibe requires a soundtrack. It was whatever was blasting from a boombox perched on a wobbly keg. Nirvana. Pearl Jam. Alice in Chains. It was the sound of a perfect throw, the sound of arguing over a point, the sound of the good times.

And here’s the thing: you’d hear that opening riff of ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ and it wasn’t just a song. It was the *energy* of the game. It made you want to be *in* it. Not just listening, but *playing*. It made you want to grab that beat-up Squier someone left in the corner and make that glorious, fuzzy noise yourself.

You were inspired. You wanted in. But then you go to the music store. And “The Man” is there. He’s like, “Whoa, dude, you gotta start on *this*,” and points to a giant acoustic guitar. “It’s a dangerous relic,” he says. “It’ll build your finger strength!”

Total bogus. You take it home, and the strings are like “tougher on the fingers” than a cheese grater. You wanted to play ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit,’ but you sound like… well, a dork. You quit and go play *Sonic 2*.

Or maybe you get the “Electric Guitar Starter Pack”. AS IF! It’s a “false economy”. A “marketing tactic” with “dismal parts” and an amp that’s “near useless”. You’re not buying a guitar; you’re buying a box of disappointment. It’s wack.

Cardinalball is just two sticks and a ball. You just… play. No rules, no manual, no “Starter Pack” scam. You find the flow.

Guitar is the same! The “only correct first guitar is the one that makes the player sound and feel like the artists they admire”. The one that *inspires* you. Here’s the cheat code: an **electric guitar is “physically the easiest guitar to play”**.

So forget the posers. Let’s build your own *actual* recipe for not sucking.

YOUR ‘CHOOSE YOUR OWN’ RECIPE

Click the boxes. Or don’t. Whatever. When you’re done, hit the big yellow button.

STEP 1: YOUR SOUND

A. PLUGGED IN & LOUD

You wanna play Rock, Blues, Metal, Pop, or Grunge. You want that *noise*.

B. UNPLUGGED & CHILL

You’re a singer-songwriter. Folk or Country. The “campfire” sound.

C. MELLOW & FANCY

You wanna play Classical or Fingerstyle. The “mellow, warm” sound of nylon strings.

STEP 2: YOUR SIZE

A. I’M NOT HAGRID

You’re a smaller person, or just want something comfy. Those “bulky” acoustics look “uncomfortable”.

B. WHATEVER, MAN

You’re average size, or you just don’t care. You’ll figure it out.

STEP 3: YOUR ‘RENTS

A. I GOTTA BE *SILENT*

Apartment life. You play late at night. You need a “headphone jack”.

B. I CAN BE *LOUD*!

You’ve got a garage or a basement. You are free to ROCK.

C. I NEED *BOTH*… DUH

You wanna be quiet *sometimes*, but also “loud enough to play with a drummer”.

STEP 4: YOUR CASH

A. THE “PAWN SHOP” HACK

You want the best “value”. A “higher-end, better-quality instrument” for the same price.

B. THE “FRESH START”

You want that “new guitar” smell. A “warranty” and no “hidden flaws”. (Just don’t buy a “starter pack”!)

STEP 5: YOUR “SCHOOL”

A. THE “DIY / ZINE” METHOD

You’re broke and a self-starter. Use free, structured online courses.

B. THE “ONE-LESSON” HACK

You’ll use free resources, but pay for *one* in-person lesson to get “instant, personalized, expert feedback” and check bad habits.

C. THE “GAME” METHOD

You like a *Guitar Hero*-style, “gamified” approach with real-time feedback from an app.

YOUR (PROBABLY) AWESOME RECIPE:

Sweet! You have your recipe. Stop planning. Go find the flow. Just play.